More tag lines!

Hi,


This blog entry is dedicated to the brand building brethren.


"Crash-courses" - The dashing, driving-instruction school
All it takes to drive; in a crashed mode.

"Harmony" - Your friendly divorce attorney
The most successful partnership firm in your neighborhood.

"Halloween" -Bridal make-ups
For the traffic-stopper look.

"Chillies & Onions Inc." - The mega-serial production studio
Can you shed more tears? (OR) How well did you cry today?

"Hole in the bucket" - The tax-saving consultancy services
For "hole-some" tax-planning techniques.
(With sincere apologies to the legendary Harry-Belafonte!)

With luv,

Vijay

Of brands and tag lines!

Hi there,

Some innovative brand names, and apposite tag lines as well:

"Jaw-Lock - Original ghee halwa"
"Can you say anything?" (Or) "Jaw-Lock da jawab nahin!"

"Guzzler-X - The zip-fast, four wheeler"
"Do u have it to quench its thirst?"

"Sierra - Ultimate shaving system for men"
"For the unfinished, rusted look"

"Dimwit - Children's tuition centre"
"How do you spell IQ?" (Or) "Wisdom is a four letter word!"

"Cacophonie - Musical centre"
"We also make earplugs"

"Plasto - The New-gen washroom accessories
"Come, kick the bucket; old one!"

"Belcho - The effervescent, thirst drink"
"No artificial flavors; only natural gas"

"Nets and Boats - Your friendly, Internet-based FISH shop"
"It makes Phishing sense"

"Tuff-bristles - Toothbrush for the iron-hearted"
"Blood on the bath-floor" (Or) "Brush, and spit your gums; be a macho"

"Sun-wheelies - The solar car"
"Make way while the sun shines"

Luv,

Vijay

Beware of this!

Hi,

I am back with some biting content (pun intended!).

Beware! My dog can change proverbs
Once bitten, no recovery!

To err is human!
To bite is canine!!
Beware! Crazy dog on duty!!!

Beware! One of the kindest dogs on guard!
It never bites the same person again!!

My dog has gone on a vacation!
Beware! It does surprise checks!!

Beware! My dog loves watching "Jaws"
It's practicing hard to sharpen its bite!

Beware! My dog can eat iron & steel
Park your vehicles here at your own risk!

Beware! My dog loves metaphysics
It knows the real motive of your visit!!

Luv,

Vijay

Beware! Biting time, this!

Hi,

Am back with some "Beware" sign boards. Am sure, these would keep you off from our good old canine friends.

"Beware of my Dog
It had been weeks since I fed him"

"Run! My dog is on duty
He hates stationary items"

"Beware! A funny dog lives here
Suffers from "Bite-first-check-later" syndrome"

"Beware! My dog is on diet!
Bites only two visitors every day"

Love (!?),

Vijay

Mid-week post!

Hi,

I see many commercial enterprises generously donating (!?) the N0-parking signage. They may consider using the following themes in the signboards.
Caveat: Blogger is not responsible for the aftermath.

Beware! No parking in front of this gate!
Residents' looks could kill!!

Parking for swanky cars ONLY in front of this gate
Residents just turned stylish and ultra-modern

Parking for sale, in front of this gate
Residents have depleted all their savings, shopping at ...........

Residents can offer valet parking services for nominal fees
They just spent all they had, shopping at ...

Luv,

Vijay

Going Berserk with "No Parking"

Hi,

This week, I just went berserk on the "No Parking" theme. The outcomes are as under:

No parking in front of this home
Residents badly need some fuel

No parking in front of this home
Our dog can eat iron and steel

No parking in front of this home
Residents chew gums and spit them randomly

Beware! No parking in front of this gate
Residents are professional fund raisers

No parking in front of this home
This home was built with earnings from parking fees

No parking in front of this home
Dangerous spiders, trained to build webs on cars, are bred here

Parking allowed for fully insured cars only
Others, please park elsewhere

Residents are not responsible for items thrown fervently on vehicles parked here while they fight among themselves
(P.S: They pick-up fights at least once every hour)

No parking in front of this home
Residents are amateurish, shot put throwers

Don't park here!
Scary house this! Haunted by ghost writers!!

No parking in front of this home
Inquisitive people live here! They ask too many questions!!

No parking here! Your car might be confiscated!
Residents have defaulted on house & property taxes

No parking in front of this home
Parking here would seriously violate basic principles of Vaasthu

No parking in front of this home
Children of this home want everything they lay their eyes on!

Parking is strictly prohibited for vehicles without an AMC

No parking in front of this home
Painting is on progress! And the residents have a bad color sense!

Theft-prone zone! Parking is at owner's risk!

No parking in front of this home
Residents hate static objects!

No parking in front of this home
Residents hate cars that are costlier than theirs!

No parking in front of this home!
Residents are lawyers, and are specialists in anti-encroachment cases!

Residents of this home love tapping Potential Energy!
Don't park here! They may convert your car as an energy source!!

Luv

Vijay

The "No parking" mania continues!

Hi there,

"Parking in front of this gate is at driver's risk
The gate may fall off anytime!!"

"Do not park in front of this gate
Inhabitants often turn possessive over things parked here!"

"Parking in front of this gate is at owner's risk
Residents have just purchased a bulldozer!"

"If you love your car, don't park in front of this home
Residents of this home exhale saline, corrosive air!"
(This would go well with the "Danger" sign - A skull and two bones)

"Parking in front of this gate is at owner's risk
Residents are badly in need of a drive!"

"Beware! Don't park your car in front of this house
Residents badly need a collateral to fund a loan!"
(This would also go well with the "Danger" sign - A skull and two bones)

Luv,

Vijay

No parking!

Hi,

Am back with a new load of ideas; this time with messages for signages found on residential apartments' gates:

"Do not park in front of this home
A renowned car thief resides here"

"Do not park in front of this home
Inhabitants may demand a parking fee"

"Do not park in front of this home
Inhabitants are notorious hitchhikers"

"Do not park in front of our home
The road also belongs to us"

Luv,

Vijay

Piping hot curtos!

Hi,


Am glad to be back!


"I am Thick-skinned!
Can give a complex to Pachyderms"


"This car is very talkative!
Has got eight "SPEAKERS" in it!"


"Beware! Driver is a die-hard borrower
May seek a loan if overtaken"


Luv,

Vijay

Mid summer curtos!

Hi there!

Am back with more stuff!

"Driver is a patient guy!
Has covered real long distances on first gear!"

"Mine is the hottest T-shirt in town
It can make anyone sweat!"

"Driver is a stable guy
Hates even shifting gears"

"A micro-chip controls this car
Don't blame driver for unruly behavior"

"My car has acted in many movies!
As a double for heroes' cars!"

Luv,

Vijay

Beware! Curtos ahead!!

Hi,

Am glad to be back. Here we go,

"Beware! Driver is a quiz master!!
May pose questions if your overtake him"

"Beware! Driver is an ascetic!!
He dis-owned everything for this vehicle"

"Beware! Driver is the best out-going student
Of the local driving school"

"Beware! Driving has big dreams!!
Caution! He dreams only while driving!!!

"Beware! Driver is truly invaluable!
Talks junk, eats junk-food and sends junk-mails!!

Luv,

Vijay

More curtos!

Hi,


Thanks for your overwhelming support! Here we go with this week's entries:


"My "SON" drives this car often;
Can I call it a solar car?"


"When there are many cool stocks,
the market turns POLAR-BEARISH"

"I am a Techie!
My life is an open e-book"

"Wish I had a "Ctrl-Alt-Del" equivalent!
Especially, when life sucks!"

Have a great week ahead!

Luv,

Vijay

New ones, these!

Hi,

Am glad to be back here.

Here we go with curtos of this week.

"Beware! Driver is in festive mood!
He just got divorced"

"Small cars are great family planning tools"

"I want to stand out of this crowd
I stood-out most of the days at school"

"Music-savvy car, and driver too!
Excuse its wobbling behavior"

Luv

Vijay

Hi there, again!

Hi,

Thanks for the overwhelming responses. Here we are, with contents for this week.

"Beware! Driver sings while driving!"

"Speed-braker ahead
Driver known for his swift braking skills"

"Beware! Driver's got traffic-stopping looks!!"

"Driver runs a laundry!
Can wash dirty linen in public!!"

Looks like the heat has sucked the creative juices off me.

Will be back again with a set of interesting curtos.

Luv

Vijay

Hi there!

Hi,

I am glad to be back with more Curtos.

"Keep distance!
My car's body was built by Mr.India"

"I have patented my driving style
Follow me to grasp it"

"My brakes are in great condition;
I polish the brake-shoes often"

"Driver just returned from Tour de France
He will "recycle" next year"

"Driver is a hair stylist
Beware: Has a swiveling driver seat"

"I dropped out of the driving school
After I heard drop-outs make it truly big"

"I am a Self-taught driver
My tutor's name is Self"

"Scratches are actually graffiti
that cars alone can infer"

"Der & Rebma, Neerg
Colors - As read by a palindrome-addict"

Luv,

Vijay

Welcoming the new year!

Hi,

I wish the very best to all readers, this new year.

Am back with a new batch of curtos!

"Driver wears high-heeled footwear
Deeply regrets delayed braking"

"My snore is quite sonorous
Hence I rarely honk"

"I can meditate and snore for hours
Others just envy me, and call it SLEEP"

"Only a man who steals footwear
Can put himself in others' shoes"

"I live by the roadside
I offer pedestrian solutions to any problem"

"My weight is 80 kgs, without my lucky stones"

"I just eat raw vegetables
The fire in my belly cooks them"

"Driver had been a stylish cricketer
He enjoys square-drives"

"I always field at SLIPS, while I play cricket
No wonder, my pet is an EEL"

"A cricketer whose palms are greased
Drops all catches"

"A Cricketer who loves Don Quixote would also like squire-drives"

Luv,

Vijay

April's attractions!

Hi,

The summer has started showing its true colors. As always, am glad to post this entry from a bright and sun-drenched corner of mother Earth.

"I was actually painted red
The sun blighted me"

(Best on light-colored cars / bikes)

Beware! This driver just finished reading
"Driving for Dummies"

"This is actually a full-sleeved T-shirt
My hands just grew a bit too long"

(Best on short-sleeved T-shirts)

"A

G H

Z D K

Do you have problems reading this?
Time you met an optician"

(Blogie's comment: One can even have the neighborhood optician sponsor this!!)

"My T-shirt can cry!
When it badly needs a wash!!"

My car is an MBA grad
It knows how to "Brake-even"

"My food is in another man's stomach
I sell men's briefs"

"Driver got rich making Chips for Techies
His specialties: Potato and Banana

Luv,

Vijay

Hot curtos, to match the heat!

Hi there,

Thanks for your support.

Here I go with this week's curtos:

"My vehicle pisses me off
when its tank is full"

"I am a free guy
My dad told me to be one"

"I did a "crash" course
To avoid accidents"

"I am a B.A (Horns.)
Yes, I am a sound scholar"

"I am a B.A (Horns.)
I am wildly literate"

Have fun!

With luv,

Vijay

Curtosing, all the way!

Hi,

Thanks again for the pats on my back (and for some brickbats too).

Here I go with this week's entries.

"My car and I exchanged roles
Now, my car exhales CO2 while I exhale CO"

"I wish I were made of denim!
This driver never gives me a wash!"

"I can take you for a breathless ride
I just got vacuum cleaned"

"It's tough to remove this T-shirt
Its zip needs a password to open"

"This car / bike is color-blind
Excuse its behavior at traffic signals"

"I prefer Saucers to Cups!
I am a true fan of Indian cricket!

Luv,

Vijay

The ides of March!

Hi,

Thanks for the overwhelming support to this initiative. Am happy to be back with more curtos!

"A true leader follows the rest
This driver is one!"

"Beware! Accident-prone driver!
Has done a "crash" course on it!

"Driver is an insomniac
Sleeps only while driving"

"Habits die hard
Others die easy"

"Caution! Left hand drive!
I sprained my right hand!"

Luv,

Vijay

New week! New entries!!

Hi,

Am back with more.

"Beware! This vehicle is driven solely by ideas, that are not mine."

"Driver is a truly cool guy!!
His hobby: Playing barefooted with Polar bears!!"

"Beware! This car's designed with A.I.
It somehow knows how to make way!!"

"Am so used to traffic jams,
I simply hate driving when roads are empty!!"

"This vehicle was owned by a hair-stylist!
No wonder it loves hairpin bends"

"Beware! This vehicle's horn is truly cacophonous!!"

"A visionary must have designed this vehicle!
It moves only if I provide a gameplan!!"

Luv,

Vijay

More Curtos!

Hi,

Here we go:

"My car squeaks when it needs fuel"

"Cobweb on the steering wheel means a fuel-efficient driver"

"Drivers with strong vocal cords must avoid honking"

"My car is just like my dad.
It smokes, grunts and drives me crazy"

"Patience pays. You get a day more, living four full years"

"I play many games. You can call me a Polygamist"

Love,

Vijay

More curtos!

Hi,

Am back after a hiatus. Here we go, with this week's curtos.

"Am a fine driver!
Have paid more fines than any!!

"I got rich evading parking charges"

"My car rattles a bit loud.
I have no need to honk!"

"I love kleptomaniacs!
My burglar alarm sounds just too good!!"

"Beware! I am a Macho!
My toothbrush has iron bristles, and I spit blood!!"

"I am a sound thinker!
You can actually hear my brains creak!!"

"I became a millionaire driving this car!
I was a billionaire before!!"

Happy curtosing!!

Vijay

It pours!

Hi,

Had an overwhelming response (primarily offline) for this endeavor from friends.

With this shot in the arm, I am happy to be back here.

"I always drive "FIRST".
I meant the gear".

"My car is very spacious.
At times, it's scary to be alone here"

"My car is the hottest in town.
Its A.C and radiator stopped working"

"My bike's ride turns very spiky if I go unshaved"

"My horn's sound is so moving, it makes people cry"

"ILA - I Love Acronyms"

"PCMCP - Please Coin More Creative Palindromes"

"This driver never gives me a brake"

"I painted this town red. They painted me white / blue / green." (For non-red vehicles)

"I am a red car / bike. So, am not an illiterate." (For red ones)

"This driver is a great mechanic. He drives me nuts, and bolts."

Happy week ahead!

Vijay

The Maturing of the "Cluttery"!!

Hi,

We live in a message-intensive word. I did a cute-little survey the other day. My neighborhood has 32 messages every kilometer. This survey was done in a residential locality. Each home has "No-parking" placards on its front gate "donated with love" by advertisers.

Fact 1: We live in a clutter-some world.

Fact 2: Our mind gets weak with these messages

Fact 3: It takes energy to have fun amidst this clutter.

Fact 4: Don't try to cut the clutter. Make it mean something. Truly something.

I had once doubled as a copy writer, primarily to bolster sagging personal fortunes. I could not allow writing die ever since. This exercise is to render a comical approach to stickers on cars / bikes / t-shirts.

The name Curtosis - is a morph of Kurtosis, a measure of the peak of a statistical (normal) distribution. Got bitten by this name owing to its inherent skew that beats the "normal".

I am glad to present the first set of messages. I disown all IP Rights of the contents and I also cannot be held liable for the effects (both good and bad) that these messages may cause, if someone dares to use them.

"I am a somnambulist!
I also drive at times!!"

"I am on liquid fuel!
Gimme something solid!!"

"I am a solar car!
But just can't give up drinking!"

"My mechanic has become a great friend!
Who wouldn't be, if you make visits often?"

"Beware! I changed 4 shoes in 6 months, pressing my accelerator!"

"Why risk seeing me on your rear view mirror? Don't overtake"

"Beware! My driving instructor was once a Formula 1 driver"

"Hate this traffic!
You simply dunno how much I wish to be a 2 wheeler!"

"I can actually fly!
But this driver is very mean!!"

"My car has 2 brake pedals!
I am a safe driver, you see!!"

"I quit smoking ever since my car began"

"I envy my car!
It can smoke and drink more than me!!"

"A sprain in the hamstrings can save a lot of fuel!!"

"I am actually a three wheeler. This guy gave me a hike for being good!"

For 2 wheelies:

"I am a 4 wheeler. I just don't show my true colors"

Happy cluttery!

Vijay